Chapter 5: Change

Hello there,


Welcome to my fifth blog. My entries seem to be getting more and more sporadic, but, thank you for taking the time to come back and read. Maybe, possibly, hopefully, it might be worth it in some way.


So, I've been in my new home for a month now. Our house warming was last Friday, it was a lovely night, old friends, new friends, drinking at a respectable level, an Abigails Party-esque buffet, and an aftermath so messy it made Haiti look like a jumble sale. 


I both love and hate parties. I love them for their bringing together of people, the excuse to sleep in all day the next day, the hosting, the forming of new friendships and the ability to dance (albeit after a few drinks) to pretty much anything that is played on the party playlist (oh yes, we do things properly here).


I do hate however that sinking feeling of the text message after text message "sorry I can't make it". The invention of Facebook invites us to false hope that the whole cyber community will arrive on the doorstep holding booze, sausage rolls and packets upon packets of ever hopeful contraception. 


Parties also remind us of all those people we probably should speak to more often, but don't, either because we feel we would be bothering them, or that we are waiting for them to "make the effort" when secretly we know they got in touch last time and we were too busy to reply. They remind us of the people we miss, and of the good times when we used to drink, flirt, play and laugh, when life was one long party that everyone came to, everyone was together at and for which everyone was care-free.


We are adults now, and things change. 


But, as they change, we learn, or at least, we should learn, that sometimes it is for the best. I go back at Christmas time to where I used to live, and see the same old friends, in the same old pub, damaging their same old liver, to try and forget about their same old kids that they never intended to have in the first place but they did because they wanted to be talked about. Sometimes change is what is needed, sometimes it is the only thing that gives an excuse to break free of our daily cycle.


Starburst, sure they used to be Opal Fruits, but they learnt, sometimes we need something different to make us stand out. I was at a comedy club recently where an audience member got into a conversation with a performer about "Oil of Ulay" (don't ask me why) the comic looked at him, joked and fooled about his mistake, maybe Oil of Ulay meant better things to this person, life when Cocoa Pops were unaware of the Chocco Crispies fiasco around the corner, and when Jif was quite happily rolling off the British tongue, while in some marketing headquarters in seedy Soho, the Cif label was all ready to be created for the foreign market. 


Sure, there are more pressing issues than sweets and cleaning products, but it is interesting how easily we move on and forget the little things that we just take for granted. Whether its our breakfast cereal, or the girl we used to walk to school with everyday, who we now no longer see because circumstances have dragged us apart. 


I also remembered why you should never be a comedian at a party. Because everyone wants you to be "on form", whether it is the guy from your mates office who has always wanted to "give it a go" or the slightly too drunk Hoxton chick who admires your extreme bravery. All the while, the nurse who saves peoples lives everyday is being fingered in the loo by a man she just met because he wears a suit jacket and has a double barrelled surname, not because he likes her, or wants to speak to her again, but because he can.


As I sit typing, the music on my ipod nano (remember when they were cool?) is constantly changing, loud upbeat jolly music, slow melancholic chords, and that song that was cool three years ago, but now isn't because your dad can appreciate it's popularity.


Sometimes we look forward to the change, the not knowing, the belief that our problem clouds will clear, leaving space for a ray of hope.


I knew when, on my birthday, my new house mates made gingerbread men that something good was about to happen. It's a big step up from my ex-housemate making a birds nest crest of pubic hair in the bathroom. It speaks somewhat of more consideration and sincerity. 


If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?


So, this week I have some big things lined up. I'm spouting more rubbish at my psychiatrist tomorrow. Maybe I should just read him this, and let the specialists cart me off, or let him remind me of any bodily imperfections I may have learned to forget about. 


Thursday I am making a change, and going to a music gig. The thought of jumping around with a room full of people I don't even know has always been uncomfortable. I've been to two music gigs in my life. Oasis in Southampton some 5 or more years ago, a jam packed sweat fest of an outdoor gig, with flying cups of piss slowly fermenting under the summer sun, and a beautifully intimate performance by Vijay Kishore in Balham a couple of years later, an accidental gig, but a stroke of luck that a gig was cancelled and I caught this.


I'm off to see Kate Nash doing a warm up gig on Thursday, I imagine there will be no piss, so I am looking forward to the change of scenery and maybe I just might jump about.


I miss lots of things in my life right now, lots of people (Seren I wish you all the happiness in the world), lots of memories, lots of security, but I love my new home, new friends, new ambitions, and my new haircut is all right too. Less floppy, more sustained, thanks Toni and your gentleman. 


I guess that's enough for now. Blimey. Serious huh? Hope you enjoyed, thought, questioned and smiled. 


For any comedy types out there, I am MCing at Up The Creek in Greenwich this Friday, it's a massive weekend club, and they always have great line ups so if you can make it down, please do. Saturday I'm doing a spot at The Comedy Store, which, continues to quite rightly be one of the best comedy clubs in the world. Let's see if I can change that...


Until next time. Stay happy. 


Mayo x